Saturday, January 9, 2010

Advice For The Boys Part I

I don't know much about the intricacies of men (what goes on in those minds?!)~ but hey, I know what my girlfriends and I like. We've had fifteen years of dating them, after all. I know what we look for, what we swoon over and what turns us off in a microsecond. Sometimes, we wish we could make a list and hand it out to all the boys we meet and date, a sort of To Do/Not To Do list. Dating and love is a funny thing but here's a girl's point of view...

1. Let's start slowly here. Own a pair of Converse Chuck Taylors. Girls love those shoes (and I love them most of all). Don't get them in a juvenile pattern or colour. Navy, black or grey will suffice. Invest the $50. They are low in price and high in style. Pair them with nice jeans and a button down shirt or edgy tee. Effortless cool. Nice dress shoes are also incredibly sexy. Swoon.
2. For that closet with your nice jeans and Chucks, invest in a gorgeous coat. This will preferably be a classic navy pea coat or a duffel coat (toggle front, hooded, camel, grey or navy only). A good quality coat will set you back a few hundred dollars but will remain in your closet for years. Plus, girls love a good coat. Trust me, we notice. If you come to pick us up for a date in a nylon windbreaker...? Just don't.
3. Know how to chit chat. Yes, it seems impersonal and lame but we need to know you can sustain the conversation without bringing up the weather. Seriously, it's a skill to make small talk but small talk often turns into genuinely getting to know someone and what they're about. We also need to know that you can ask us about us, ask good and insightful questions and are interested in something other than talking about yourselves. Trust me, being inquisitive about who we are goes a very very long way. Major points scored this way.
4. Be sweet without being creepy. Be thoughtful without appearing overbearing. Compliment a girl genuinely. We appreciate it. Hugely. A $10 bouquet on a fourth date? Just do it. Know how to romance in the 21st century. We all want a romantic guy... but don't act like a girl. It's a fine line. If you're thinking of making a romantic gesture for a girl you're dating, ask a girl friend. And ask for the truth. Bottom line, girls seriously crave romantic gestures. That's why we date in the first place. Come on, guys, step up.
5. This should go without saying, but sadly, it doesn't. Don't criticize (even if joking), don't make us feel self conscious, don't talk about your exes (ever ever ever, unless we ask and only then, mention very little), don't text or talk on your phone while with us (it's rude), don't ignore us if we're meeting your friends for the first time and try very hard not to look at other girls when we can catch you. Oh, and don't say to our face that you hate cats/dogs if we have said cat/dog. Just keep your opinion to yourself.

Like I said, I'm not some dating or relationship guru. (I could laugh at that thought for days) All I know is what I like and what my friends like and the boys we naturally gravitate to. No guy we date has to be perfect but if you're a jerk, trust me, we'll walk away.
Hey, a little advice can't hurt, right?

Stay tuned, boys, for more posts on a girl's point of view.

(Photo via Vi.sualize)

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