My beautiful friend Nicole recently gave me a rather brilliant idea. During downtime while traveling in Europe she made a list of every quality she ever dreamed of in her ideal mate, both deal breakers and ultimate wish list items. I have one certain conversation constantly with my girlfriends and it goes a little like this~ "She is so pretty and smart and cool, why is she settling with that hoser?"
Why do women settle? Is it because when we're in love we really don't see our partner the way other people outside the relationship do (a.k.a ~ we're skewed by lust and hormones)? Is it fright to be alone or the belief that no one better will come along? Do we just ignore all the little bad habits men have and the truly lousy way they treat us sometimes in exchange for someone in our lives? I wish I knew. All I do know is that some girls out there definitely settle for far less than they deserve and I have been one of them, on occasion.
So now to Nicole's list. I think it's a brilliant idea. Why not list everything you've ever dreamed about in a boyfriend? To see it there on paper, in bold black and white, will be a frank reality check every time a man walks into our lives that perhaps we'd pass on if we just really listened to our heads and hearts. No strong girl needs a man. Instead it is about inviting someone into our lives who truly values us and treats us like the foxes we are! I started my own "Wish List" last night and it was shockingly harder than I thought it would be. There were far more qualities I didn't want rather than things I could actually pinpoint desiring in a guy. I intend to persevere if only to enjoy the exercise for what it is, and the next time I meet a man who makes my heart skip I'll consult the list (or my girlfriends) first!
My Boy Better:
1. Be a non smoker (my number one deal breaker)
2. Be sweet and humble (I can't stand cocky, know it all men)
3. Want to travel the world with me (one day)
4. Have nice manners and treat women respectfully (chivalry isn't dead)
5. Be a romantic at heart (I need a softie)
6. Be a creative soul (a reader is attractive, must like good music and films)
That's my start! What are your deal breakers in love?
(Photo courtesy of Paper Tissue)