Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Grand Gesture

Every girl dreams of the "grand gesture". You know, the grand gesture~ that moment at the end of the movie when the man decides he can't live without "her" after all and states his feelings and intentions in over the top, romantic style. Does this happen in real life? 
I wonder all the time. 

Hundreds of films and novels over my thirty years have made me susceptible to the concept of the grand gesture. Fairy tale love, soulmate love~ whatever you call it, I'm a sucker for it. Meant to be. What does that even mean? I believe in it, absolutely, but never quite known it. And I have never experienced the grand gesture. Sometimes I think my idealism has been formed by all those movies I have wept through. After a recent "disagreement" with someone I cared for this ran through my mind~ What if I go home to find him waiting on my door step? If that were ever to happen would there be flowers? Some kind of declaration? This didn't happen, naturally. 
The door step was empty, the phone silent. 

Do men (in real life) believe in the grand gesture? Or does taking that leap mean being too vulnerable, thus too scary to actually act? Risking all is terrifying but the grand gesture is always used and loved in the movies because of that very element of the unknown. The bigger the risk the greater the reward. People love that. Especially women. 
We love the idea of the grand gesture. 

Why do we dream of this? For me~ it is because if someone ever did that for me then that would be utter proof, not only of the person's feelings for me but also a testament to the kind of man they are themselves. I dream of someone that is brave enough and strong enough to take that leap. Every girl wants a man who will take a risk for them. My advice to all boys out there~ scary be damned, risk all for that girl you love. Do it. Sometimes real life can be like the movies. Fairy tale love does exist. Everyone wants a grand gesture, sometime in their life. 
Embrace the romance and leap. 

My all time favourite grand gestures on film:
-Will driving cross country to "see about a girl" in Good Will Hunting

-Harry flying to Paris to tell Erica he loves her in 
Something's Gotta Give

-Mark's Christmastime cue card love tribute to Juliet in Love Actually

-Mr. Darcy's declaration of love to his supposed nemesis 
Elizabeth Bennet in Pride & Prejudice

-Linus quitting his company and moving to Paris for his love in Sabrina

There must be more..... What are your favourite grand gestures? 
Have you ever experienced this in real life? 


  1. This is such a great post...I have often wondered the same thing myself...although I know I have been loved, I can't say that I've ever really experienced the "grand gesture" courtesy of anyone first hand. In fact, if anything, I feel like I have made the grand gesture once in the past. Is this maybe because as you suggested, acting with such idealism and making such a dramatic declaration is shaped by the films we watch and our desire for something as passionate and real?

    Whether it's real, or romantic idealism, I would like to believe that it can happen, and I know there have been times in the past where I've wished there were more men out there who acted with such passion and courage. As trite as it may sound, love means taking a risk!

    Those are all great "grand gesture" moments. Love Actually~sigh~. I also love the scene btwn Cameron Diaz and Jude Law at the end of The Holiday when she turns the cab around at the moment she really does love him (ironically, the grand gesture was hers!) Have you seen What Dreams May Come? If not, you must, there is a definite "grand gesture" scene by Robin Williams.

  2. Oh my beautiful Chloe, thank you for this beautiful response! I loved reading it several times over. I think about this so much, too much, as one of the most romantic people I know. I wonder if one day I will receive a grand gesture~ then my romantic dreams will come true! At least you have been and are right now truly loved! That is lovely in itself. I haven't seen What Dreams May Come but I will watch it on your recommendation! Love you, xoxo.


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